You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
