Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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