tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
