Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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