I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
