based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
