I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
