Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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