I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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