i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
In America we eat man semen.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
