Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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