ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
