dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
