Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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