Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
