I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
