I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
