how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
