My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
