so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
