Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
