using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Randomize
