i will never coherently bang her
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
True strength comes from lack of pants
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
