I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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