I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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