No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
