it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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