just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
