Your tits are I can't wait for
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
