Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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