I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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