I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
