I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
