I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
