perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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