Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
