we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
