So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
