one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I haven't been this sober since birth.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
