We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
