I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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