He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
