Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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