Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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