the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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