I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
