Dual....:-)
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
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