I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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