I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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