thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
